i’m a poor suffering bum this week

Right. So apparently, even a year’s worth of intensive experience on the phones couldn’t mold this luddite into a competent tech support representative. Oh, sure, people console you saying, “Relax, it’s your first day, you’ll get better in a week,” but alas, they’re nothing but sweet, sweet words. I appreciate the vote of confidence, guys, but seriously. We all know I suck at the job. I swear I’m gonna get terminated faster than one can screw a coaxial cable into a monkey’s nostril. (That’s where you’re supposed to screw them in, right?… No? Damn!) Oh, Lordy Lordy Lord. It’s one of those rare instances where I’d rather not be the one saying “I told you so.” Seriously, though, I’m really broken up over this.

On to important matters! I found this science article about orchids shaped like female wasps to help them pollinate. What happens is that male wasps end up “doing the do” with these flowers and help them scatter the pollen as a result. Those poor male wasps!

Imagine if that sort of thing were to happen to humans. Some guy would be walking down the street when he suddenly comes across a cactus shaped like Steph Song, who then offers to ”do the do” with him right then and there. Another guy walks by, sees the first guy and says, “Dude, what are you doing?! You’re humping a cactus!” And then the first guy would go, “…oh. Well that explains these needles on my crotch.” Most unpleasant, I kid you not.

Tasteless analogy aside, that was an amusing diversion… Almost made me forget I screwed up at work. And with things the way they are, I’ll probably take my chances with the cactus. Sigh.